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Married without witnesses

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Married without witnesses

Post by Ithar Ghada Faied on Sun Apr 25, 2010 5:47 pm

Question:

I am in love with a man and we treat each other as husband and wife. Last year we married each other with out the presence of a maulvi and witnesses. We declared Allah to be the witness to this agreement. Many times we wanted to go for court marriage but our parents would have gotten very upset when at the time of our nikah they would have found out that we are already married. Many times we have asked our parents to marry us but my parents and his parents say that it is not possible for us to get married until two years. We have already known each other for two years and it is becoming very difficult to stay apart especially physically. Many months later we wrote this agreement on a piece of paper.

The paper began with bismillah and it was signed by both of us. Then one day we had sex and I felt very upset that we had commited zina and I prayed to Allah to give a sign. At night when I went to sleep, a voice said to me that I should recite surah Ar-Rahman and I took that as a positive sign from Allah. Based on this and the hadith that actions are based on intentions, both of us believe that we are husband and wife. I would like to know if this is true because sometimes my confidence shakes? I would also like to know if you know of a similar case in history?

Answer:

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

What you have done is not correct at all, because marriage in Islam is not possible in the way you followed because the Prophet (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Any woman who got married without the consent of her guardian, her marriage is invalid". He said this three times as narrated by Ahmad in his Musnad.

The Prophet (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) also said: "No marriage can take place without the presence of a guardian and two reliable male witnesses and any marriage that was not done in this way is nil and invalid and the Sultan (ruler) is the guardian of any one, who does not have a guardian". Narrated by al-Hakem.

Indeed, Islam has emphasized the conditions of legal marriage to protect the rights of the woman as well as the rights of her children. If marriage were to be done in the way you did it, every man, who does not fear Allah, may deceive any woman and conclude a contract with her as both of you did. Then he may have his pleasures as he wants, but when the woman gets pregnant, he leaves her and denies having had any relations with her. Hence, her rights and the rights of her children get lost. But, if the marriage is done in the presence of the woman's guardians and of the witnesses and it is declared and documented, the man can not deny it later and he will not be able to get away from fulfilling what rights are incumbent on this act.

You should also know that it is forbidden for you to try to know a man in this way or to love him. But if this happens, you should tell your parents the soonest possible and convince them that this man will be a good husband for you. If they accept him, the marriage should then be done in the legal way. But if they refuse for no reason accepted by the Sari'a, you should then bring your case to the Qadi of the place where you are. If there is no Qadi in that place, so the Muslim community can do the job of the Qadi. Now, you should return in true repentance to Allah. You should then keep away from this and never let him touch you, as this is one of the conditions of true repentance. As your mixing up with this man now is a kind of Zina (fornication and adultery) which is forbidden. Then, if he wants to marry you and shows to have really repented to Allah, he should then wait until you have at least one menstruation period to make sure that you have not got pregnant from your relation before, which - as you know now - was pre Zina.

After the purification of the wombs takes place, he gets married to you in the Islamic way as I have clarified earlier. If you have become pregnant from the sexual intercourse you had before, then he should wait until you give birth and then gets married to you as to avoid mixing the semen of Zina and the seman of legal marriage. If a child is born from the first relations, he should not be traced back to this man even if he is his true father because Islam does not allow adopting. So, as long as there is not the legal fatherhood. So what does not exist legally does not exist really.

And Allah knows best.
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Ithar Ghada Faied
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